The Down-Slope

Mirror Mirror

Posted by Jess is Jess , Sunday, February 7, 2010 Sunday, February 07, 2010

"Don't be afraid to dream; just temper your expectations with critical thinking so you don't confuse what you want with what you have."

Hmmmm. Interesting horoscope.

I'm going to split this into two parts.

Part One: Don't be afraid to dream; just temper your expectations with critical thinking.

Yeah, this is good advise for me. I'm something of a pipe-dreamer due in part to my wild imagination (otherwise known as delusions) and I get somewhat hyper-sensitive when people (otherwise known as my mother) have the good sense to point out that I might be getting carried away.

This frustrates me for many reasons - the biggest is probably that I know that I am guilty of this behavior. The thing is - I'm okay with it, it's part of what keeps my disposition so sunny. I have to look for the good or, more often than not, talk about the good.

I don't need any help from outside sources seeing the dark side or portents of doom - I've got that all inside my own head. I just work to keep that between me and me, to work it out on my own. Unfortunately, this also makes me somewhat defensive and/or put out when my grand plans or whatever get brought back down to earth.

Now, I know that when this happens it is because I am loved and that the people in my life who tend to be more realistic than not care about what happens to me.

It may seem like my head is in the clouds but it isn't. As surprising (or delusional) as this may sound, I am a realist when it comes right down to it.

Part Two: Don't confuse what you want with what you have.

At first glance (or actually fifth) this seems like it's telling me not to settle.

I can get behind that.

I spent the better part of my twenties convincing myself that what I wanted more than anything in the world is what I had right then and there and it wasn't until this most recent chapter of my life that I've stopped doing that. (For the most part).


I love this adventure that my life has become, but there is a part of me that does want to settle and let my roots dig in deep to the earth. (Goodness knows I'm not getting any younger).

These feelings always seem to crop up again when I'm feeling the most blue or vulnerable and I need to quell them. I know that they are just my fears trying to get the better of me. And you can bet your butt that that sure as hell is not going to happen.

I'm not going to settle - but I'm also going to try to not  keep myself apart from life out of some misguided fear of getting stuck in one place.

My entire horoscope reads: Relationships are complicated today because it's not easy for you to see things as they truly are. Instead, you perceive others through rose-colored glasses now, tinting reality with your unfulfilled desires. Don't be afraid to dream; just temper your expectations with critical thinking so you don't confuse what you want with what you have.

Like I said, I'm not settling anymore.

Not on people, places, or things.

Not on actions, adjectives, or adverbs.

Not for any part of a sentence.

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I'll find my way
I'll find it far away
I'll find it in the unexpected and unknown
I'll find my life in my own way
Today

Here I go
And there's no turning back
My great adventure has begun
I may be small
But I've got giant plans
To shine as greatly as the sun

I will blaze 
Until I find my time and place
I will be fearless,
Surrendering modesty and grace
I will not disapear without a trace
I'll shout and start a riot
Be anything but quiet
Christopher Columbus
I'll be Astonishing
Astonishing
Astonishing

At Last


Astonishing from Little Women with book by Allan Knee, lyrics by Mindi Dickstein, and music by Jason Howland.