I believe in signs.
I believe in symbols.
I believe in premonitions.
I believe that sometimes the world has to hit you over the head with a 2x4 to get you to notice what it's trying to tell you.
In light of that.
Dear Universe,
I'm with you now.
I'm listening and I promise to be patient.
I promise to trust in things and people that I might not want to. It's so hard for me to do, and I know that you know that. I'm scared to - it makes me feel out of control. And you know how I feel about control.
I will accept the dreams that you've shown me and hold on to the feelings of comfort and peace that came with them. I will take in the signs you've sent my way and embrace them. I will trust you to keep me safe and to shine your light on my path.
Begrudgingly Yours,
J
Moving on has never been high on my list of abilities.
Tying cherry stems in knots with my tongue - yes
Baby Bear voice - yes
Storing seemingly useless information in my brain - also yes
Letting go, moving on - no, not so much
However, I do think that it is very important to "get over" things. I also think that completely getting over anything that has had a profound impact on us is unrealistic.
You just have to find balance. This is the lesson we learn from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, we learn that our minds should not be spotless. Everything we go through and everyone we encounter help to shape us.
I love who I am today.
Why would I want to eliminate from myself something that has made this self what it is?
But the thing is, we have to try. The practical application of "getting over" is essential and like so many things in this world the process is more important than the product.
The things that hurt us, or stress us out, or cause us grief should not be hanging around our lives clouding our vision.
We do not need paintings of Guernica as a constant reminder.
Take the picture out of it's frame or off of the fridge, fold it up, and put it someplace safe.
It's still important.
It's still a part of you.
You don't need to keep your wounds open to remember.
You will always remember. It's good to remember. For all of the reasons, small and great.
But it's time to step into the sunshine and keep walking.
As I said, I'm not very good at this. I hold on and relive my pain and lift it up to the heavens regularly as reminders to the great wide world of what I've been through. But I'm also trying not to do that anymore.
Like I told you the other day, I don't like feeling bad so I'm actively trying not to.
