"You probably have a lot to say but don't try to say it all at once. Words will prematurely diffuse your ideas before they reach fruition. Trust your dreams without feeling like you must share them aloud."
Fine.
I get it, Universe. Keep my trap shut today.
2 different horoscopes told me to be quite today.
How do I respond to this? Well, naturally I'm going to write about it.
Ha. Take. That.
This is a problem for me and if you know me well you have probably experienced my inability to edit what comes out of my mouth.
My nasty thatswhatyouget habit is a perfect example of this.
Additionally, I've been known to spew out ohmigoshsuckitupandsinglouder! which resulted in my Derrick gasping in shock and the brilliant Alexis retorting with "Not everyone has lungs the size of Montana!"
And when I told John Boy about this his first response was "Did you say that outside your head?!?"
Ugh. Yes, yes I did.
Sorry.
I should not have said it outside my head (obviously) but in my defense I was right - they just needed to sing louder.
My lungs are a perfectly normal size.
So there.
I may not be good at keeping my thoughts to myself but you can sleep easily knowing that I will always tell you what I think.
About everything.
Whether you like it or not.
Yesterday my delightful friend, Bevin (who I like to call Blevin due to an unfortunate typo on a call sheet) posted a status update on her facebook that read:
"Perpetual hope is exhausting! But, singing helps."
Oh, man - I could not agree more!
It is really rough sometimes keeping up a good front, stiff upper lip, smile on your face, blah blah blah.
The delightful Blevin is correct, though - singing does help.
Listening to music in general is a real mood booster.
You know how I feel about Pandora Psychic Radio (I'll share my secret with you - type in "Billy Joel" and you will get the single greatest collection of soft rock from the '70's, '80's, and early '90's there might also be some stuff from the '60's as it plays the Beatles and Sir Elton pretty often) and pretty much if I'm not in class or talking to actual human people I have my ipod on giving my day an awesome soundtrack.
I have a bad habit (yes, I know I have more than just one).
But this habit is a difficult one.
It's a compulsion.
There have been many times in my life, and I'm sure there will be more in the future, where I have been unable to stop myself from saying ...
That's what you get!
eeehuuuuuwhhhhhhheiiiiiiheeeeeeeeeee ... I'm so sorry ...
Please accept this scene as my best example and vague apology.
Scene: Sitting in Enid's living room with Roster when we see a giant, nasty spider on the ceiling.
Me: Ohmigosh. Look at the spider.
Roster: Where?
Me: (pointing) There! Look up!
Roster: (sighing) I'll get it
Roster proceeds to get some paper towel from the kitchen and climb on a chair.
Me: Wait! Put the paper towel on the end of a broom stick or yard stick and crush it that way.
Roster: No. This is fine.
Me: But ...
Roster ignores me and tries to get the spider. Naturally this does not work and it falls on him and he stumbles off the chair, brushing himself off.
Roster: Ugh ... Oh ... Gross!
Me: Ohmigoshthatswhatyouget!
Roster: (looking at me both incredulously and with a bit of murder in his eyes) Seriously?
Me: Uhh ... Sorry? ... Butifyouhadjustlistenedtome ...
Roster (cutting in) Seriously!
Me: ... itwouldn'thavehappened... I'm just saying ...
I'd like to point out that I have no idea what happened to that spider.
My people, I have some questions:
1. When did Verizon buy the Big Red theme song and why is that one of the catchiest jingles of all time?
2. Do people still use those rubber bracelets for their causes? Is that fad over?
3. I'm afraid that the entire "Red Ribbon for Women's Heart Health" thing is some sort of subversive plot to overthrow the Red AIDS Ribbon folks. What do you think?
4. Would Justin Bieber be as popular as he is if Michael Jackson hadn't died last year? I feel like with all the Jackson reminiscing that went on we, as a pop icon loving people, remembered how cute and great he was before he got all white and scary and now love Justin Bieber because of this. I'm not ashamed to admit it, I love that Justin Bieber, he reminds me of a kinder, less terrifying MJ. I want to put him in my pocket and pull him out from time to time so that he can sing to me.
